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Eileen

(Mellion)

Ilberman

Obituary

Eileen M. Ilberman, 62, of Old Saybrook, CT and Rancho Mirage, CA, was released from pain on November 22, 2013. Beloved wife of Barry Ilberman, devoted mother of Jodi Hope (Ilberman) and Christopher Soloperto, adoring ‘Gabby” to Emma Beth and Jason Bauer Soloperto, was born on April 11, 1951 in Rockland County, New York. She was the daughter of Elaine (Morganbesser) Mellion and the late Franklyn B. Mellion. Eileen graduated from Nanuet HS in 1969 and from Russell Sage College with a BA in Fine Arts-Art History in 1973. While at Sage, she met, fell in love, and married Barry Ilberman (RPI ’72). ‘Mellion’, as he called her, and Barry settled in CT where she was a docent at the Hartford Atheneum, a free lance calligrapher and avid student of culinary arts(especially desserts), until they relocated to NYC. Her true mission in life was being Jodi’s mom and Barry’s wife. She also volunteered extensively and had deep personal concern for so many of the people she came to know. Her genuine warmth and depth of character, as well as her total commitment, were evident in her many personal and philanthropic activities. Despite the many medical problems she was forced to deal with due to Marfan Syndrome with its severe scoliosis and other cardiac and orthopedic problems, she worked tirelessly as the Founder and President of the Connecticut Chapter of the National Scoliosis Foundation and the Connecticut Chapter of The Marfan Foundation. Eileen also seved as Secretary of the Board of The Marfan Foundation and on the Board of the National Scoliosis Foundation. She was very proud and honored to be awarded the second annual Spirit of Service Award by The Marfan Foundation in September, 2013. Besides her husband, children, and grandchildren, Eileen leaves behind her mother Elaine Mellion, her brother David Mellion and family, her many nieces and nephews, and her many deeply-loved friends. Eileen was pre-deceased by her father Franklyn B. Mellion and her beloved “sistah”, her very best friend, the yin to her yang, Debra Ann (Mellion) Prastien, Sage ’75. Eileen’s extraordinary personal courage during her extended bouts of ill health and her heroic efforts to meet her many obligations and commitments were an inspiration to us all. She will be sorely missed by all whose lives she touched, and all of us will miss her beauty, grace, wry wit, attention to detail, and unique sense of humor. Funeral services will be held at 12 noon on Monday, November 25, 2013 at Congregation Beth Shalom Rodfe Zedek, 55 East Kings Highway, Chester, CT 06412 with Rabbi Rachel Goldenberg officiating. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to The National Marfan Foundations’ Eileen M. Ilberman Orthopaedic Research Fund, Russell Sage College’s Mellion Sisters’ Fund, the National Scoliosis Foundation, or Autism Speaks. Arrangements are entrusted to Weinstein Mortuary, Hartford, CT. For further information, directions, or to sign the guest book for Eileen, please visit online at www.weinsteinmortuary.com/funerals.cfm.

Guest Book For

Eileen Ilberman

(Mellion)

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From: mort mackof

From New York, New York (NY)

Posted On: January 11, 2014

From: Darcy Arute

From Kensington, CT

Posted On: December 9, 2013

Barry and family, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I'm sorry I just found out today. She sounds like she was a strong woman and fighter til the end. I hope you find comfort in knowing that she is no longer suffering. My prayers are with you.

From: sarah bedell

From simsbury, ct

Posted On: January 9, 2014

Eileen was a loyal and beloved customer of mine for many years at the Bookworm in W.H.Center. She was so sweet and positive, and just remembering her makes me smile. Such a lovely and kind woman! Blessings and peace to all the family, Sarah Bedell

From: John & Katherine Lotko

From Kensington, CT

Posted On: November 25, 2013

Dear Barry,
We were saddened to read about your wife's passing.Although we never met your wife,after reading this morning's paper indeed Eileen was a courageous,remarkable woman! How richly blessed you have been to share this life's journey with such a warm,loving soul. May your memories be your treasure, and may they provide you with comfort, peace and solace during this sad time.
~With deepest sympathy~
John & Katherine Lotko

From: Kim Little

From Tolland, Ct

Posted On: November 25, 2013

Jodi your mom sounded like an incredible person. I know she had to be quite remarkable to have such an amazing daughter. Love, Kim

From: John & Rena Cagnetta

From Rocky Hill, CT

Posted On: November 26, 2013

Barry
We are sadden to learn of Eileen's passing. You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers.
John & Rena

From: Janine Hetherington and Ben Klompus

From Williamstown, Massachusetts

Posted On: November 26, 2013

Barry,
Ben and I are heartbroken to hear of your loss. Eileen was such a vibrant and lovely woman. We are better off for having known her for even a short amount of time. Please know we are thinking of you and your family and sending lots of love your way during this difficult time.
Warm regards,
Janine Hetherington and Ben Klompus

From: Bernice Matty

From Bloomfield, CT

Posted On: November 27, 2013

I had the pleasure of getting to know Eileen many years ago when we were members of Tikvoh Chadoshoh. She was always so positive and upbeat. She was always so proud of Jody's accomplishments. I fell out of touch when you moved to NY but I never forgot her charm. My thoughts are with you.

From: Pat and Paul Robotham

From Unionville, CT

Posted On: November 28, 2013

Dear Barry,
Pat and I were deeply saddened upon reading of Eileen's passing. The few times she was in our company, she was more concerned about Pat's well-being than of her own. The obituary was a wonderful tribute to her as a caring wife, mother, grandmother and a person who cared for and was involved with helping the those afflicted with the ailments that consumed her life. We know that her suffering is over and she is at peace. Our deepest sympathy to you and your family.
Fondly,
Pat and Paul Robotham

From: Gabriel Shore

From Astoria, NY

Posted On: November 30, 2013

Been thinking about both of you this week, Barry, wish I could've come to the service up in Chester. You have both been more caring, generous and interested in Ethan and I's lives than we ever could have asked for. Besides your commitment to and support of her in the final years, I will always be amazed at how she never lost that clever wit and wonderful biting sense of humor, even just a few months ago talking about mikvehs at our dining room table. Thank you for everything, you both are like family and I'm going to miss her.

From: Pyncsmesy

From Albany, New Zealand

Posted On: December 23, 2013

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From: Susan Campbell

From West Hartford, CT

Posted On: December 19, 2013

Barry and Jodi,
I was saddened to learn of Eileen's passing. I fondly recall the times we shared and have wonderful memories of sitting at your kitchen table in Newington and the first home in West Hartford and chatting while eating something delicious that she had prepared.

May she rest in peace.

Sue Campbell

From: Raul de Brigard

From Higganum, Connecticut

Posted On: December 18, 2013

Dear Barry,
Just learned about Eileen's demise. My most sincere condolences. While I only met Eileen once, I still found the news to be tragic, considering how young she was. My best to you and Jodi.

Raul - with best wishes from my wife Emilie as well.

PS: While we still have our place in CT, we now spend more time in Manhattan, where we have an apt on the upper west side. I am not sure where you are living now, but, should you see an occasion to get together, feel free to call me at 860-984-7963 or write to rdebrigard@me.com

From: Phil Delldonna

From Burlington, CT

Posted On: November 25, 2013

Barry, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

From: Johanna Kerr

From Middletown, CT

Posted On: December 4, 2013

Dear Barry: I just learned about your beloved wife Eileen today and am sharing in your sorrow and devastating loss. My thougts and prayers are with you and your family. May beautiful memories of Eileen remain in your hearts always.
With deepest sympathy,
Johanna Kerr

From: Tony Spinelli

From Niantic, CT

Posted On: December 2, 2013

I was very saddened to read of Eileen's passing. Although I didn't know her I was very impressed by her many accomplishments. Please accept me deepest sympathies in your tragic loss. Tony Spinelli, NU Retiree

From: Dani Drews

From Troy, NY

Posted On: November 25, 2013

Dear Barry,
We were so saddened by the news of Eileen's passing. While we never had a chance to meet, she was beautifully and vividly portrayed by all who had. Wishing you and your family comfort from the thoughts and prayers of so many.

Love,
Dani Drews
The Sage Athletic Department

From: Peter Campbell

From West Hartford, CT

Posted On: November 25, 2013

Barry I was very sad to read of Eileen's passing. It has been a very long time since we all lived at Cambridge Arms in Newington. I still remember the first time that I meet Eileen and the excellent meals she would prepare including her wonderful desserts. She was kind enough to share
her recipes which she would hand write on her "From the kitchen of - Eileen Ilberman" three by five cards. I assure you that those cards are well worn from use.

From: Eileen Radziunas

From Old Saybrook, CT.

Posted On: November 25, 2013

Barry - Amazingly beautiful service in Chester !!! Your words, and that of your son-in-law were so very sensitive...not to mention right on the mark in describing Eileen. If you never met her, you would know her after the descriptions both of you gave. By the time we found the place, the service had just begun - sorry we didn't get to speak to you, personally...but glad we were there. Please keep in touch...Eileen

From: Doug and Sharon Madison

From Sedona, AZ

Posted On: November 25, 2013

We befriended Eileen and Barry during our college days, shared happy times together, and enjoyed receiving Eileen's beautifully crafted and heartfelt messages for years thereafter. May she rest in peace. We extend our sympathies to her entire family and wide circle of friends.
With deep condolences,
Doug and Sharon Madison

From: Dea Leonardi

From Fairfield, CT

Posted On: November 24, 2013

I am so sorry to hear of Eileen's passing. May your many happy memories bring you comfort in the days ahead.

From: Ellen Spahr

From Westford, MA

Posted On: November 24, 2013

Jodi,
I was so sad to hear of the sudden loss of your mom. You are in my thoughts.

With much love, Ellen

From: Don Allan

From Noank, CT

Posted On: November 24, 2013

Barry, I was so sorry to read in the Courant today about Eileen's passing. When we worked together at NU, I remember you telling me about her struggling with medical issues and how upbeat she always was about them. My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time.

From: Ronnye Shamam

From New York, NY

Posted On: November 24, 2013

Dear Barry and Jody, My heart goes out to you as you say goodbye to Eileen. She was charming, smart, beautiful and valiant. May she rest in peace and my you continue her legacy of good work in her name.

From: Sharon Robinson

From Albany, NY

Posted On: November 24, 2013

Dear Barry and family--I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope that a lifetime of memories with Eileen will console you during these difficult days, and bring you joy forever.--Sharon

From: Carole Inman

From Frisco, Tx

Posted On: November 24, 2013

Not many people have the courage to keep going, despite all the obstacles the way Eileen did.

From: Marsha Bor Parker

From Sandy Hook,, CT

Posted On: November 24, 2013

Although I only met Eileen once or twice at Russell Sage events, I admired her courage. Even when in pain, she made the effort to attend the gourmet barbecues and the luncheons just because she felt such a warm attachment to RSC and the many friends she had made from there.
My condolences to her husband Barry and to the rest of her family. Marsha Bor Parker, '68 RSC

From: Jack Farrall

From Windsor, Ct

Posted On: November 25, 2013

Our deepest sympathy, and our prayers are with you.
Jack and Jane Farrall

From: Kathy Belinkie

From West Hartford, CT

Posted On: November 25, 2013

Dear Barry - We remember Eileen so fondly from our days together at Tikvoh. She was the most positive person we will ever know. Her humor and grace made her a delight to be with - we are all better for having spent time with her. Thinking of you and your family at this sad time. Fondly, Kathy and Steve Belinkie

From: Jayne Armstrong

From Old Saybrook, CT

Posted On: November 25, 2013

To Barry and family, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May the beautiful memories of Eileen comfort you and bring you peace.

From: PETER SANTORO

From EAST HARTFORD, CT

Posted On: November 25, 2013

BARRY,
WE CONVEY OUR SINCERE CONDOLENCES TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
PETER AND JEAN SANTORO

From: Eileen Radziunas

From Old Saybrook, CT.

Posted On: November 25, 2013

None of us knows what challenges we will end up facing in life - certainly Eileen had far more than her share with the serious chronic illness she lived with - yet, she was such a fighter...and someone I've come to admire for her sustained strength. Eileen set an example for all of us through the way she handled adversity with such grace. On her sickest days, she kept going...doing things like attending the weekly Scrabble Club that she initiated several years ago, which is where we met. Ironically, when she first walked in, I thought I was meeting a competitive Scrabble player - but I soon learned, as I got to know her better, that, in addition, I had just made a special new friend. Scrabble won't be the same without you, Eileen...You will be sorely missed...May you rest in peace.

Eileen Radziunas

P.S. to Barry - Being a caregiver has to be one of the most demanding jobs, yet you did it so lovingly - for so many years. Know that there wasn't one day that I visited with Eileen, (remembering that there were many), that she didn't make a point of mentioning how much you were there for her, in every way. The love of her life took care of the love of his life - what a compassionate tribute to a very special relationship! My heart aches for your loss, but commends your sustained dedication. I have no doubt that she survived as long as she did because of it. You did a remarkable job taking care of Eileen, now please take care of yourself, Barry...and know that we are all here for you.

From: Sandy Berkon

From Delray Beach, FL

Posted On: November 24, 2013

Barry & Family
I was a neighbor years ago on King Edward Rd. in West Hartford. I was very sad to hear of the passing of EILEEN. She was truly a delightful person. May it help to know others share your sorrow at this time.

From: Melanie

From Tully, Ny

Posted On: November 24, 2013

Barry, I'm so sorry to hear. I wish I could be there with you but I'm thinking of you cousin melanie

From: Jean and Michael Selinger

From West Hartford, Ct

Posted On: November 24, 2013

Dear Barry, Jodi and Family,
We have fond memories of Eileen.

From: Susan Scrimshaw

From Troy, NY

Posted On: November 24, 2013

Dear Barry, Jodi and family,

Eileen was a lovely, gentle lady and a treasured Russell Sage alumna. It was clear that she was the light of your life, and your devotion to her was an example to all of us. She will be remembered with joy and appreciation for her life. Our prayers are with you.
Susan and Allan

From: Glenda and Don Kelman

From Cohoes, NY

Posted On: November 24, 2013

To Barry, Jodi and Eileen's entire family -
Eileen "Mellion" was a treasured "Sage" friend. Her courage, support and love for family, friends, colleagues, and her tireless work with the Marfan Foundation extended far beyond herself as she reached out to touch so many of our lives. Her love of family, and her grace, wit, wisdom and smile will be etched in our hearts forever.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
With love and condolences,
Don and Glenda Kelman

From: Sandy Berkon

From Delray Beach, FL

Posted On: November 24, 2013

Barry & Family
I was a neighbor years ago on King Edward Rd. in West Hartford. I was very sad to hear of the passing of EILEEN. She was truly a delightful person. May it help to know others share your sorrow at this time.

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